So it has been a while since I have admitted that life had the upper hand on me … it has been long since I have let the ease of living stall my everyday struggle, it has been surely sometime since I had caved in for the truth, whatever that might be. But fear not lost one, I'm surely one with weakness, one with vulnerabilities, one with sins that shades the black into gray. I 'm not all that powerful nor all that righteous, but however, I try, I try to break through like any of you, and I'll carry on if that what it takes.
It 's a long road ahead, the one that tires that troubled mind, the one that aches the existence of this very soul, but however, that first step is the longest stride... right? Once your feet get into the moving, it never stops, and it should never stop, so to vanquish that pain, to kill that numbness, you have to push and push through, it is no bed of roses, and no easy ride, but however, it is the road you have to take to get out of that vicious circle, the one that has been eating you alive.
So patience fellow human, the words will follow through, the light shall be at the end of that tunnel, you just have to believe that there's one. But beware, not all life is about that continuous struggle, it is about living. Let me emphasis a little more on that idea, living, some define as passing time, but however, I think it is the ratio of one's experiences against successes, of course there are going to be failures, but however, failures are there to learn from them, as much as success. So leave those surrendering ideas, we have to be strong now.
To state the truth here, thinking hard against hardly thinking is a tormenting way of existence. Reason and common sense will sometimes fail you, it is then that you reach out for any helping hand extended to you, not that those are laying around and found easily, but none-the-less, you will look for them desperately. That blind faith that we embrace, the one that states that everything is going to be alright, have to be eradicated, there might be a self-solution for every situation, but not the best one. Increasingly that I observed lives gone in the eye of twister for that belief, and I have to say including my own. Only recently that I have realized what I should to do, to break that circle.
The way your thoughts dilute you, is nothing more than the way your mind trying to force out the idea that something is wrong with the rules you abide to, the axioms that you have longed believed in blindly and now start to question their validity. I know, sure things in life are what have many people tried before you, and appeared to work for them, I 'm not saying that what seems to you a success, is a failure, but it might be from a certain point of view; nothing is evaluated and measured through a single angle. I guess what I 'm trying to say to you is, there's no single truth about anything, the way issues are perceived can render deduced solutions right or wrong. So with that into mind, the simple answer here is derive your own rules, make sense of them, and most importantly, that these set of rules will make you happy.
On that path, weighting things at certain perspective can convince you to believe in them, but however, it will make you uncomfortable; emotions are such mysterious things, but search deep within, you'll find the reasons that had provoked those emotions, the facts that compose that person which you are, the facts that you try to deny about yourself, listen to those, because whenever you don't, that distinguished pain is going to be strobing right back into the back of your mind.
Yes, facing your own truth is only way out of that vicious circle, because only then you'd realize what you truly want out of this life. Terrifying, I know it is, but again how can you know the ingredients which will render your life all shining and glorious unless you define yourself clearly, at least to yourself; it's unnecessary that others know, if you want that life on the edge, you have to stand out, not to be compliant with people surrounding you.
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