Thoughts Of The Insane : The Humpty Dumpty Effect.....

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King's horses, And all the King's men .... Couldn't put Humpty together again!”

Simple words from a nursery rhyme, as old as the age of the English speaking nations, that puzzles humans till this very day, and yes, it was intended as a riddle, one that has been covered up by the naive association with the egg character; Humpty Dumpty was never an egg, but some thought it would better to insinuate to others that he was, and since he's an egg, he couldn't be saved from his “great fall”. The question then remains : Was that the original intent of the riddle? Or is it otherwise?

My attempt to tackle such a riddle was not without motive; I simply wondered about the third verse, why was it necessary to reference the “king's” horses and men as the saviors of Humpty Dumpty, why was it necessary to dispatch the most authoritative and highly trained resources – in respect of the time that poem was written – to save an egg? Come to think of it, the misdirection of fragility of Humpty Dumpty, makes it easier for the misguided to believe he was an egg; we're willing to admit that we could not save him because he was a trivial fragile existence, but that's it , we can save everything else.

Some may refer this behavior as arrogance, but the truth is, it's denial. The third verse highly suggests that even the most capable could not repair anything once it shatters. So now we can widen the horizon a little more, like what Humpty Dumpty did; oh yeah, he “sat” on a wall, sat not walked on, not jumped around on it, he SAT on it, so what happened that made him lose balance and fall?

The wall was high, since the fall was “great”, I can only assume or predict that he had a wider perspective of the world around him since the wall was high. I also will assume or predict that something came into his field of vision that troubled him to the level of losing balance and falling , and here comes the tricky part with that rhyme, what was it that he “saw” in a wider perspective of his world that led to his shattering and by consequence, the failure to save him.

Terrible thoughts will roam your mind right now, I know, this is the purpose of the riddle and poem, to warn those who aspire to be the Humpty Dumptys in life; for once one passes the threshold that protects our merely pathetic comprehension of life, one must be ready for the troubling realizations in consequences of such a wider perspective, and then none, not even the most capable of humans can help one put oneself back together, because simply they do not comprehend life at that level.

At that note I 'll leave the words to wonder inside your mind, as I have been letting them wonder inside my own. I might be wrong in my analysis, and, by consequence, my interpretation of the poem, however, it's just a thought of mine.

Thoughts Of The Insane : On Self Confrontation.....

I have lost the sound of my own voice, the way I compose sentences and make the words take my shape and color, simple, direct, and beyond “normal” reason. I 'm not one for forcing out an idea upon pages, it always seems to me as if the words I force out are synthetic, a complete farce, pretentious, an attempt to find meaning in a rather meaningless thought, even if it is a valid one. The truth is, I lost count of my attempts trying to lay words into place about self confrontation, then I realized the elementary cause of my failure; although self-confrontation is a fairly simple task, it is an uncomfortable and harsh process, and thus discussing it should be equally as uncomfortable and harsh, just beyond the realm of my simple and sarcastic expressions. So forgive me for what I 'm about to do; I 'll shed my skin and show my fangs.

While on the quest of a definition, the answers in such a realm did not even come close to assertive and concrete information, google the phrase “self-confrontation” and you'll see some of the most unrelated results to the subject!!! The fallacies surrounding the task of self-confrontation are indeed a human desired conditioning, to defy oneself into the vision of the truth is a self-destructive act in most cases; we're not the most noble nor the most beautiful of creatures, one look at that ugly fact is enough to send weak characterized human 's mind to roam around the fine line that isolates sanity from insanity forever, and come down to it, we're all weak, even if it was for brief moments. The reasons stand, but, however, it is still needed to know the how-to of that act despite the risks, humans need to better themselves, and thus the necessity to swim across the dark waters.

Don't wet your feet just yet, we don't know what exactly we are searching for!! But let's set aside what you know about the matter for just now, let me tell you what I think about it; “self-confrontation” is a process where one explores the deepest of pits of one's spirit to reach oneself, realize the flaws within and hence decides either to accept or work on rectifying these ills. Easy, right??? NO IT IS NOT, self-reflective analysis will only lead you astray from the real issues you suffer from, and hence you'll reaffirm the illusion that you're alright. “self-projection” is the keyword here, and that's the first and foremost reason self-confrontation is not an easy task.

What is “self-projection” ? Let's just start with the easy stuff first, what is “projection”? Freud defines it as “the unconscious act of denial of a person's own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to the weather, the government, a tool, or to other people. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings.” – pretty heavy stuff, yes I know, what do you expect from a person with a lot of mummy issues – in plain English, lads and gents, he means that projection is when one unconsciously blame the surroundings – people, society, tools, … – for what ever is wrong with oneself. Close but not enough, I will, however, force what I think down your throats, I think projection is just an act of denial, that casts a blindfold onto your eyes to see only what you want to see, whether it's related to a personal flaw or otherwise – see how much simpler things get when you abstract 'em, without the mummy issues –.

Now that we're done with the easy stuff, let us go a little deeper, what is self-projection? Since Freud did not inform us about that one, please give me the honors, self-projection is the act of finding resemblance between one's issues and those of others, and hence deduce that the world is just a mirror staring you back in the face. This is the most dangerous of acts that one could make, remember the self-reflective analysis, that's what they lead to exactly; as a consequence, one might find it okay to be flawed as the world around us suffers from the same defects; and because it's an illusion, one keeps from confronting oneself. So away with the conviction that the world is as ugly as yourself, it's ugly, I know, but not as misguided nor as rotten as you are.

Just a little further now, since we now know the reasons keeping us from completing such a task, it is obvious that we cannot rely on ourselves to perform the exploration of ourselves, paradoxical as it is, we cannot be trusted with our own spirits; hence, we have to see ourselves through the eyes of others. And hence the confusion: we have too see our image projected within the minds of others; to do just that, one must be aware at all time of every gesture, every peep, and every expression others throw at you, others have this way of telling you the truth while they're lying to your face, you have felt this before, but you chose to close your eyes and not see. Now, as you know what exactly to look for, it will be easier to mark all perception of you through the mystic haze of lies.

I know, sometimes it makes you loathe others, for now you can see the reality of what they think of you, but do not forget, you're one of them, just more enlightened now, so no excuses there, but we're all flawed, and remember that you're doing this process to better yourself, comparing now is useless, without value, you're in a race with yourself, against yourself, and the time left for you to figure out your meaning and purpose; and that should be your only drive through the days. In the end, the only thing that counts is how you put yourself to use. At that mark, you will realize that your flaws are your life's work, and its a dog eat dog world out there; so let the question float above your head at all times: Who is going to win, you or you? So that's how I would place my words on self confrontation,it is just a thought!!