The winds will still blow, as another of those years goes by,
seems like hours ago, that I had glanced upon the world of men,
along the grains will fall, as the hour glass tries to keep time that will fly,
thus the irony of what was, what will be, and what I see over and again,
I wish you all the greatness, all the happiness, all the dreams beyond the sky,
such is my soul, my thoughts, and the words I speak, ink , and pen.
When you pick up this book, do not expect a cheap fright, a chill down your spine from a gory image, nor an imaginary tap on the shoulder from icy fingers. Just do not expect it. But just in case I am not clear enough, this is not your usual kick-in-the-pants weekend afternoon entertainment. This collection shifts pace, style, and tongue for the sole purpose of finding an angel that will terrify you.
As a collective, “Toward The 20th Ghost” is not as hard to categorize as promoted; but rather its unusual scenery and events set it apart from your usual peekaboo horror stories, unify its 20 visions under a state of dark and unsettling mood that leave you with anything but ease and comfort. The visions included within this collection give the word “haunting” a new meaning, with no credit to the supernatural elements of the stories; the disturbing ideas, motiveless causalities, and away-from-rainbow endings will definitely wander about your head for years to come.
As far as short stories go, Khalifa's visions are just without inhibitions nor filters; might be shocking for some, revealing for others, unbearable for most, but most certainly they unfold without restraints nor reserves. I enjoyed reading these stories, simply because they are not bounded by “normal” moral dilemmas nor “expected” righteousness, and it is rare that I come across such a thing, that is free and clear from all projections that satisfy hidden agendas or preachy messages. The only thing left to mention here is my favorite one of these 20 stories – and for a very known reason for me – “Ink” took that place in my heart.
Note: You can buy a copy from amazon.com or from smashwords.com ; or you can get FREE COPIES through the Toward 20th Ghost website or via the Storyteller blog.
Update: “Toward The 20th Ghost” is now also available in Egypt through Souq.com
It always amazes me how certain people are capable of finding new lows, even when no one else has imagined it in their wildest of dreams. That statement should summarize the words I intend to lay upon you today, but instead placing at the very end of my thoughts, as I derive my conclusions from analysis as I am use to, I chose to begin with it. Excuse me if my words seems too harsh, but I am infuriated, and trust me, the words I wrote are not as harmful or as nasty as I would like them to be. Bottom-feeders are a fact of life, I know that, but to allow that mentality to spread, to let it be known openly that it is acceptable behavior, is something I would not stand for, and will always fight. Now if such a message is embedded into a product TV Ad, the repercussions are simply catastrophic.
Generally speaking, a good product Ad has two functions, the first being to introduce the product to the target demographic, the second being to establish the quality(ies) which are of value to the target demographic, and hence the intended individuals will buy it. Mind you, I'm not saying that all of them do exactly those two functions, but however, it's more or less revolving around these two; but however, most of the advertiser choose to try and fool consumers into buying the products they advertise about, and using their ignorance against them, I remember from my younger years the famous “#1” trick, although it could have been a good trick, but however, suddenly all of the products became #1, which in consequence led to the loss of credibility in the idea of “#1”. I even remember other tricks such as promoting a normal step in the process of manufacturing as a quality of a product, a famous example would be the “Lucky Strike” campaign “it's toasted”, all tobacco must be toasted before cut and rolled into cigarettes, it's a STANDARD part of the process.
In recent years, advertisers found themselves in a pickle, they are asked to promote products that are the same as their peers, products that have no qualities that set them apart from others in the same categories, none-the-less, they have to draw attention to the products they promote, make their image stick to the consumer mind, and thus Ad models came to life!!! Instead of promoting by quality, it is done via exploitation, by placing a very attractive, sexy, and desirable model into the frame with the product, that is how the attention of the consumer is drawn among other things that I don't wish to get into. Now do not get me wrong, its at least a way of drawing attention setting aside the side effects, and come to think of it, the “pretty” people needs jobs too!!!
However, some advertisers decided to go another direction, which is acting a somewhat of an unusual sketch or scene, where the product come in as an answer. Fair enough, but along came the strays that made more decadent, preying on the sense humors or even sexual needs of the recipients; a famous example of that kind of choice will be the “Axe” “Wash Your Balls” Ad –I kid you not– and to be fair, it's a good Ad, although it stretches out the limit on the “sense of humor”. Anyhow, I get the point with all above types, most of the time you need to resort to “unusual” ways to attract an audience, but what really pissed me off, is something very different and has a new kind of low.
In the last few weeks, Fanta Egypt decided to run an Ad about their new product the Fanta Cantaloupe, or in short the “Fantaloupe”, allow me to describe the Ad so you would get what pissed me off about it, you can skip the next few lines if you have already seen it. The Ad is scene about a meeting to convince a board of executives of the new product in question, an executive complains about the worker –who's name is Mesilehi– and that he chose the Cantaloupe as a new flavor, however, he gets convinced by a “suck up” –sorry, I could not get a better identification term for him– that it's a good choice, and then to taste it for himself, the executive then asks about the number of bottles produced for this product, the “suck up” answers three hundred thousand –is that sort of expected sales for this flavor– , another executive asks what is solution if they were not to sell, the “suck up” then devise the perfect plan to make the worker buy them and fire him, end scene, screen reads “Save Mesilehi … Drink Fantaloupe”.
Now, I am going to flip the coin both sides to clarify the thoughts I had about this “Ad”. Let us assume that consumers realize that this is merely an act to sell the product, and that the people who appear or mentioned in this Ad are merely a figment of imagination of a really sick mind –I had another word in mind but I decided to use this one instead–, doesn't this makes Coca Cola –owner of the Fanta products– seem like begging the public for money? Doesn't this shows how this company treat their employees if one of their investments was placed in a product that an employee developed? Isn't that a PR nightmare? And above all, what was going through the advertiser who came up with this idea, what made him think of such a situation, unless he has seen one before?
Now, let us assume –I know this idiotic but let us go through it anyway– that consumers realize that the people who appeared and mentioned in that Ad are real –didn't I say it is idiotic– !!! Will they sympathize with Mesilehi? Will they buy the product out of mere sympathy that would only last until the 300000 bottles run out? Or will it backfire and produces a massive boycott –I'm assuming an activist and naïve type of consumer here – that could bankrupt Coca Cola Egypt and Mesilehi is better off in a company that appreciate his inventions? And again I would ask about the bad public image and the PR nightmare, and again I would ask what was going through the advertiser mind?
On a more serious note, oh yes I was making fun of the person who came with this idea, how did these questions slip through the decision makers involved in that “Ad”, how many absent-minded persons did this skip? Or maybe they were not absent-minded and understand completely what they are doing, using ignorance of the consumers against them? The answer in both cases are terrifying and offensive in nature. This “Ad” can only work in one situation, if the people are indifferent about the whole thing and consider it as a joke –as in Mesilehi will get fired, hahaha, kind of joke–, in other words, the consumers have to be careless, very selfish and self-centered; hmmm, that might explain why they used Mesilehi as name –a common farmer name– instead of Sayed –a common worker name– , doesn't it ? –who would think that there something called name profiling ? And even this they can't get it right–However, I assume then that I get the type of implicit message for “the target consumers” –and what kind they are– .
At the end, I like to add that this is a full fledged campaign, with it's youtube video, Facebook group, and twitter account; you can check them all from the official site of Fanta, http://fantaegypt.com/, I kid you not. Please do not get me wrong, I do not mean to attack Coca Cola in itself, I'm attacking the individuals who were responsible of offending me by such a message, and in my own humble opinion should be fired –maybe then I could laugh about the matter, poetic justice and whatnot–; it is because of these individuals that I will never ever try that product of theirs, and please bare in mind that I would not be alone who takes this action, but I can only speak for myself.
Sorrow drowns my heart, and I would fight not for a breath.
How dare I dream, how dare I care, Whilst united with death?
I belong to the land beyond this realm, the bound of the unseen,
escape these cold hearts, vicious smiles, and everything in between.
Dark thoughts I carry, cannot share with neither foes nor friends.
How can I walk the path, the one away from all my desires bends?
How can I see, How can I feel, While thy true colors are never shown?
Ha! and I have been wondering, how does one turn oneself into stone?
Hard are the days, hard are my ways, and hard upon the world I reflect,
lives dwell into the black, with every ill and sorrow as they wait to infect,
I would cut my heart out ,can no longer bare these feelings within my chest,
and I would lay aground, keeping time until those moments of eternal rest.
It shatters again, and a million pieces will cover the sky,
it shatters again, but what's once after a thousand more?
It shatters again, without a heard sound it should die,
but who cares, a lesson never learned, as always, as before.
Sunsets, clouds dipped in light and blood set my world right,
high tides, rage of the waves at sea, would comfort my soul,
winds in face, sand storms will keep me standing at full sight,
but who dares, to walk the fury and the blazing road in a stroll?
I am, all the reasons, all the conditions, that created me,
I am, all the illogical, all the madness, all the darkness white,
I am, that distanced dream, that eagle that roams the sky free,
but I accept, my ill-destined path, my eternal silence plight.
Simple words from a nursery rhyme, as old as the age of the English speaking nations, that puzzles humans till this very day, and yes, it was intended as a riddle, one that has been covered up by the naive association with the egg character; Humpty Dumpty was never an egg, but some thought it would better to insinuate to others that he was, and since he's an egg, he couldn't be saved from his “great fall”. The question then remains : Was that the original intent of the riddle? Or is it otherwise?
My attempt to tackle such a riddle was not without motive; I simply wondered about the third verse, why was it necessary to reference the “king's” horses and men as the saviors of Humpty Dumpty, why was it necessary to dispatch the most authoritative and highly trained resources – in respect of the time that poem was written – to save an egg? Come to think of it, the misdirection of fragility of Humpty Dumpty, makes it easier for the misguided to believe he was an egg; we're willing to admit that we could not save him because he was a trivial fragile existence, but that's it , we can save everything else.
Some may refer this behavior as arrogance, but the truth is, it's denial. The third verse highly suggests that even the most capable could not repair anything once it shatters. So now we can widen the horizon a little more, like what Humpty Dumpty did; oh yeah, he “sat” on a wall, sat not walked on, not jumped around on it, he SAT on it, so what happened that made him lose balance and fall?
The wall was high, since the fall was “great”, I can only assume or predict that he had a wider perspective of the world around him since the wall was high. I also will assume or predict that something came into his field of vision that troubled him to the level of losing balance and falling , and here comes the tricky part with that rhyme, what was it that he “saw” in a wider perspective of his world that led to his shattering and by consequence, the failure to save him.
Terrible thoughts will roam your mind right now, I know, this is the purpose of the riddle and poem, to warn those who aspire to be the Humpty Dumptys in life; for once one passes the threshold that protects our merely pathetic comprehension of life, one must be ready for the troubling realizations in consequences of such a wider perspective, and then none, not even the most capable of humans can help one put oneself back together, because simply they do not comprehend life at that level.
At that note I 'll leave the words to wonder inside your mind, as I have been letting them wonder inside my own. I might be wrong in my analysis, and, by consequence, my interpretation of the poem, however, it's just a thought of mine.
I have lost the sound of my own voice, the way I compose sentences and make the words take my shape and color, simple, direct, and beyond “normal” reason. I 'm not one for forcing out an idea upon pages, it always seems to me as if the words I force out are synthetic, a complete farce, pretentious, an attempt to find meaning in a rather meaningless thought, even if it is a valid one. The truth is, I lost count of my attempts trying to lay words into place about self confrontation, then I realized the elementary cause of my failure; although self-confrontation is a fairly simple task, it is an uncomfortable and harsh process, and thus discussing it should be equally as uncomfortable and harsh, just beyond the realm of my simple and sarcastic expressions. So forgive me for what I 'm about to do; I 'll shed my skin and show my fangs.
While on the quest of a definition, the answers in such a realm did not even come close to assertive and concrete information, google the phrase “self-confrontation” and you'll see some of the most unrelated results to the subject!!! The fallacies surrounding the task of self-confrontation are indeed a human desired conditioning, to defy oneself into the vision of the truth is a self-destructive act in most cases; we're not the most noble nor the most beautiful of creatures, one look at that ugly fact is enough to send weak characterized human 's mind to roam around the fine line that isolates sanity from insanity forever, and come down to it, we're all weak, even if it was for brief moments. The reasons stand, but, however, it is still needed to know the how-to of that act despite the risks, humans need to better themselves, and thus the necessity to swim across the dark waters.
Don't wet your feet just yet, we don't know what exactly we are searching for!! But let's set aside what you know about the matter for just now, let me tell you what I think about it; “self-confrontation” is a process where one explores the deepest of pits of one's spirit to reach oneself, realize the flaws within and hence decides either to accept or work on rectifying these ills. Easy, right??? NO IT IS NOT, self-reflective analysis will only lead you astray from the real issues you suffer from, and hence you'll reaffirm the illusion that you're alright. “self-projection” is the keyword here, and that's the first and foremost reason self-confrontation is not an easy task.
What is “self-projection” ? Let's just start with the easy stuff first, what is “projection”? Freud defines it as “the unconscious act of denial of a person's own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to the weather, the government, a tool, or to other people. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings.” – pretty heavy stuff, yes I know, what do you expect from a person with a lot of mummy issues – in plain English, lads and gents, he means that projection is when one unconsciously blame the surroundings – people, society, tools, … – for what ever is wrong with oneself. Close but not enough, I will, however, force what I think down your throats, I think projection is just an act of denial, that casts a blindfold onto your eyes to see only what you want to see, whether it's related to a personal flaw or otherwise – see how much simpler things get when you abstract 'em, without the mummy issues –.
Now that we're done with the easy stuff, let us go a little deeper, what is self-projection? Since Freud did not inform us about that one, please give me the honors, self-projection is the act of finding resemblance between one's issues and those of others, and hence deduce that the world is just a mirror staring you back in the face. This is the most dangerous of acts that one could make, remember the self-reflective analysis, that's what they lead to exactly; as a consequence, one might find it okay to be flawed as the world around us suffers from the same defects; and because it's an illusion, one keeps from confronting oneself. So away with the conviction that the world is as ugly as yourself, it's ugly, I know, but not as misguided nor as rotten as you are.
Just a little further now, since we now know the reasons keeping us from completing such a task, it is obvious that we cannot rely on ourselves to perform the exploration of ourselves, paradoxical as it is, we cannot be trusted with our own spirits; hence, we have to see ourselves through the eyes of others. And hence the confusion: we have too see our image projected within the minds of others; to do just that, one must be aware at all time of every gesture, every peep, and every expression others throw at you, others have this way of telling you the truth while they're lying to your face, you have felt this before, but you chose to close your eyes and not see. Now, as you know what exactly to look for, it will be easier to mark all perception of you through the mystic haze of lies.
I know, sometimes it makes you loathe others, for now you can see the reality of what they think of you, but do not forget, you're one of them, just more enlightened now, so no excuses there, but we're all flawed, and remember that you're doing this process to better yourself, comparing now is useless, without value, you're in a race with yourself, against yourself, and the time left for you to figure out your meaning and purpose; and that should be your only drive through the days. In the end, the only thing that counts is how you put yourself to use. At that mark, you will realize that your flaws are your life's work, and its a dog eat dog world out there; so let the question float above your head at all times: Who is going to win, you or you? So that's how I would place my words on self confrontation,it is just a thought!!
Insanity seems to be the texture of my logic and words to others, I knew that perception for sometime now, I also knew that I could not ignore the calls of my mind, the calls to dig on deeper, to see and feel beyond just simple colors and defined shapes. I have realized that I will not put off the roaring fires of long answerless questions, those fires fuel me, fuel what I 'm, and give me that edge that drives me to be all I can be. I shall not simplify my actions nor thoughts for others, that is not why I exist, but I would try to reveal the logic behind 'em, that is my way to build bridges instead of burning 'em.
It's the saddest truth of all, not being able to convey one's thoughts as sound as they formulate into one's brain. These thoughts are all what one could share with the world, and without those, a human can pass on by the lives of others without touching them through out the years. Without that ability, one's purpose is simply gone, and one's life is perceived as meaningless. It's the most heavy of burdens -that I do not wish for anyone to endure- to lose the all common logic grounds with others and dealing with the frustrations that comes with it.
I 'm one, I know that much, and as consequence, that burden is mine to carry. I do not regret the path I walked to reach this point, the point of no-return, there is a reason for me to become what I became. I simply wish for the rest of world to at least, understand that their way is not the only one, there are many others, granted that they include factors of the unknown and risks of great failures, but none-the-less they do exist.
As far as conveying thoughts go, I've been trying to make clear the thought that transformed me from an average-Joe to a man with a unique identity. I know most of us need firm grounds to stand upon, rules to abide by, it comes within our nature since we live on physical ground, but have you ever took a minute or two into posing the question “What if?”, eliminating the possibility a reasonable doubt, proving to yourself that these rules are sound; allow me to go a bit further and ask : what if those rules are made to support the illusion of a life, what if the solid ground we stand upon is really not there? And thus, my world beyond the world was formed, upon concepts and perceptions conceived within those moments. I don't wish for you to follow my path, the only that could have walked it is me, but I beg of you to try and find your calling and your land of peace.
